What happened to Tres Buck Nastay?
Oh, you don’t know about Tres Buck Nastay? Well, that’s my team in the 3rd Annual Player Haters Ball fantasy league. It’s a 12-team league that also counts OBOD’s own Adam Somers as one of its members. Adam is near the top of the league, although I can’t recall his record. My squad? We’re 3-9 and in second-to-last place, despite our sweet photo of Ice-T (from the legendary “Chappelle’s Show” sketch) as our logo.
I know what happened, actually. My draft sucked. Oh, not completely, mind you – I did nab Tom Brady and Wes Welker (in a PPR league, too) after all. My other picks? Whiffs all around. That LenDale White pick in the third round was really bad. His weight loss – spurred on by cutting out tequila, reportedly – and his impending free agency had me thinking big year. Didn’t happen. I tried FedEx-ing him a bottle of Patron a few weeks back, but I’m not sure if it got there.
Bernard Berrian? No chemistry with Judas. Ryan Grant, taken with my first pick? Getting better, but nowhere near first round value. Zach Miller? Hurt/plays with JaMarcus Russell. The New York Giants defense? Holes all around.
There were other glaring failures in there, too, but I’ll spare you other than to say they were almost as bad.
I should make the playoffs in my other two leagues. But the mistakes from the Player Haters Ball league still burn me.
(Expletive deleted…expletive deleted)!
As I try in vain to get over my mistakes there, let’s tee this thing up as we at OBOD get you ready for week thirteen.
Game of the Week
Dallas Cowboys (8-3) at New York Giants (6-5)
There are some other highly qualified candidates for this honor. But this game was picked because it has the highest intrigue factor.
These are two teams who, despite being in the playoff chase, we know little about. Which Giants are the real Giants? The ones who started 5-0 or the ones who have gone 1-5 since? Which Cowboys are the real Cowboys? The offensive powerhouse with the strong running game or the misfiring bunch that’s always just a hair off?
This game will go a long way towards answering those questions.
Game of the Weak
St. Louis Rams (1-10) at Chicago Bears (4-7)
At this point, does anyone even care about Jay Cutler anymore? As he proves, week in and week out, to be more like Jeff George than Judas, I know I sure as hell don’t.
St. Louis? Again, don’t have enough time to talk about why things have gone wrong there. Stop asking me!
Playoff picture
NFC:
Prognosis negative: Washington Redskins (3-8), Detroit Lions (2-9), Chicago Bears (4-7), Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-10), Carolina Panthers (4-7), St. Louis Rams (1-10), Seattle Seahawks (4-7)
Not flatlining, but close: San Francisco 49ers (5-6)
Stable condition: Philadelphia Eagles (7-4), Green Bay Packers (7-4), Atlanta Falcons (6-5), New York Giants (6-5)
Ready to check out, please: New Orleans Saints (11-0), Minnesota Vikings (10-1), Arizona Cardinals (7-4), Dallas Cowboys (8-3)
AFC:
Prognosis negative: Kansas City Chiefs (3-8), Oakland Raiders (3-8), Buffalo Bills (4-7), Cleveland Browns (1-10)
Not flatlining, but close: Miami Dolphins (5-6), New York Jets (5-6), Tennessee Titans (5-6), Houston Texans (5-6)
Stable condition: Baltimore Ravens (6-5), Pittsburgh Steelers (6-5), Jacksonville Jaguars (6-5), Denver Broncos (7-4)
Ready to check out, please: Indianapolis Colts (11-0), Cincinnati Bengals (8-3), San Diego Chargers (8-3), New England Patriots (7-4)
Week thirteen predictions
St. Louis (1-10) at Chicago (4-7) – Jay Cutler is indeed Jeff George incarnate. Still, he’s got enough bullets to win this one. Chicago 27, St. Louis 13
Tampa Bay (1-10) at Carolina (4-7) – Two teams with no hope face-off in this one. Carolina wins, but, sitting in the studio in NYC, Bill Cowher keeps his eyes on John Fox’s seat. Carolina 20, Tampa Bay 10
Houston (5-6) at Jacksonville (6-5) – Two teams that need a win in a big way meet in Jacksonville, home of Limp Bizkit. What’s that? You don’t know Limp Bizkit? Well, they were a rock band from the late 1990s and…ah, screw you kids and your video games. Houston 28, Jacksonville 27
Denver (7-4) at Kansas City (3-8) – Denver got back on track against Big Blue on Turkey Day. Against the Chiefs, the Broncos keep it spinning (copyright Matt Anderson). Denver 30, Kansas City 14
Tennessee (5-6) at Indianapolis (11-0) – How are the Titans DOING THIS? Vince Young? Seriously? Yeah, Young’s been very good and his development at quarterback has been the story of the second half so far. Chris Johnson is the real star on this squad though, as he has surpassed Adrian Peterson as the best back in the game. Indy has to lose at some point. As Rage Against The Machine once said, what better place than here? What better time than now? Tennessee 24, Indianapolis 23
Philadelphia (7-4) at Atlanta (6-5) – Another game with a ton of intrigue, especially for us Packers fans as these are two of the teams Green Bay’s battling with for the wild card spots. If Matty Ice were at QB, Atlanta would have a shot. Without him, the Falcons won’t. Philadelphia 28, Atlanta 17
New Orleans (11-0) at Washington (3-8) – The Saints were tres impressive in crushing the Pats on Monday night. There will be some letdown, I’d imagine, and I expect the Saints to come out a tad sluggish. They’ll pull it together though – Drew Brees won’t give them a choice – and ultimately dominate the ‘Skins. New Orleans 33, Washington 13
Oakland (3-8) at Pittsburgh (6-5) – Big Ben plays. Big Ben doesn’t. Not really an issue against the Raiders as the defending champs are an angry bunch right now. Pittsburgh 31, Oakland 12
Detroit (2-9) at Cincinnati (8-3) – After viewing them on Thanksgiving, it sure looks like the Lions have given up. Not that I blame them or anything. I would, too. The Bengals, on the other hand, have a lot to play for. That equals a blowout. Cincinnati 41, Detroit 17
New England (7-4) at Miami (5-6) – Everyone has been dogging the Pats all week for getting killed by New Orleans, as if there is some shame in losing to the best team in football on the road. You know what the Pats do when people do that to them? They go out and destroy whoever is in front of them. Look out, Miami! New England 34, Miami 17
San Diego (8-3) at Cleveland (1-10) – San Diego is very quietly making a case for itself as one of the AFC’s prime contenders. On the road in Cleveland, that won’t change. San Diego 35, Cleveland 7
Dallas (8-3) at New York Giants (6-5) – I picked the Giants to win it all this season. At this point, I’m not sure they’re even a playoff team. I have some doubts about Dallas, too, but not nearly as many. Giants’ bandwagon, pull over. I need to jump off. Dallas 20, New York 14
San Francisco (5-6) at Seattle (4-7) – The Niners’ slim playoff hopes require that they pretty much win out. I can’t see that happening, but I can see them earning a nice win this week. San Francisco 22, Seattle 13
Minnesota (10-1) at Arizona (7-4) – Kurt Warner is still having some trouble with his vision after a blow to the head a couple weeks back. Still, the Cards kind of need this game as San Fran is lurking in second place in the NFC West. Warner plays and guess what? Upset in the desert, as Arizona’s passing attack is too much in the end for a leaky Vikings secondary. Arizona 31, Minnesota 28
Monday night
Baltimore (6-5) at Green Bay (7-4) – More on this one in the coming days, of course, but for now let me just say this: The Packers should be rested, refreshed and ready after an 11-day layoff. That’s good because this one will likely be a street fight on a cold December evening at Lambeau. Green Bay has more talent than Baltimore. That will come through, if only by a small margin. Green Bay 20, Baltimore 14
Last week: 9-7
Overall for the season: 117-58 (67 percent)
-Chris Lempesis
Recent Comments