Ol' Bag of Donuts » Ridiculous Brett Favre rumors

Regular season game seven vs. Minnesota: The bell tolls for Favre

admin — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 06:01:38 +0000

For a good portion of Monday, I found myself thinking about what Sunday night meant to me.

Namely, I was trying to find the primary emotion I was feeling following the Green Bay Packers’ heart-stopping 28-24 win over the Minnesota Vikings at Lambeau Field.

Was it jubilation? Relief? Vindication?

In some ways, I could say “yes” to all three. Emphatically, in fact. But that wasn’t the main emotion. No, it was something else.

Peaceful.

See, for almost two-and-a-half years, Brett Favre seemed intent on making every single Packers fan feel stupid. Every action, interview and performance felt like it was aimed right at us for showering a decade-and-a-half’s worth of praise and undying support on him. He may have been targeting Ted Thompson, Mike McCarthy, Mark Murphy and Aaron Rodgers, but more often than not – far more often than not – we seemed to be the ones who really took the punishment. After all, those four seemed fairly content with how things played out.

And they never loved him like we did.

For us, though, it was never going to be that way. Sure, we could take joy from the small victories – a spat with his new head coach here or a game-losing interception in the NFC Championship Game there. But, really, who were we kidding? We were never going to fully put everything that happened to us – everything he’d done to us – until the team we loved beat him head-to-head.

It took a long time, longer than any of us would’ve wanted, but it finally happened. We beat him.

Winning alone would be enough to cover the first three emotions I discussed. But to achieve peacefulness, there’d have to be more. If he were to have played well despite losing, say, a 38-35 shootout, tranquility might have fallen just a hair short. No, our guys would have to beat him.

They did just that. A defense that once dropped back into coverage attacked him. A group that, once upon a time, couldn’t get a hand on him, to use a hockey term, finished their checks. Okay, so maybe there weren’t a ton of checks, but the ones that were to be had were had. Cornerbacks, safeties and linebackers – three positions Favre owned just a year ago – got themselves in position to make plays. And, boy, did they make some plays (Nick Collins = holy crap). In every sense, the reverance they’d shown him before was gone.

In 2009, our guys struggled to keep up with him. This time around, he struggled to keep up with them.

He looked old, slow. Sure, he could rear back and let the occasional dart fly, for old time’s sake. But not like he used to. He could still feel the rush as well as anyone, but he couldn’t avoid it like he used to. His footwork – the most underrated part of his game – was still kind of there, but not like before. There was more stumbling, more bumbling.

The shots of Favre in full-on joy were few and far between. He looked bitter. He looked broken. Part of the “broken” is literal, Favre sustaining two separate stress fractures in his left ankle via a hit from Brad Jones in the third quarter. But it’s more than that. His love for the game seems lost, Favre showing the look of a man who knows he’s gone all-in one too many times. To quote Gene: “The house wins – it always does.”

He called the defeat “devastating.” That surely had something to do with the scoreboard, but again, there’s more to it. He could absorb the boos and the hatred from the Lambeau faithful when he was walking off the field a winner. After all, there’d be time to repair the damage done down the road. He couldn’t be bothered with that then. He was lost in his “dream season.”

That dream season is long over now. The end is near. The bell tolls for Favre.

And this time, he felt every ounce of our hatred for him, because, in defeat, he knows now he’ll never be able to go back. The one true love of his career – the love he felt from Packers fans – will never exist again. He always figured we’d come around, but see, we were smarter than he ever gave us credit for. He knows that now. That’s what brought on his tears.

In a matter of weeks, the game that’s always been there for him will be gone. He faces an uncertain future, both publicly and privately.

But the fans he once so viciously spurned? We’re moving on. And we’re going to be just fine.

-Chris Lempesis

Isn’t it nice to cheer for a competent team?

admin — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 18:47:16 +0000

I’ve spent the last hour going back and forth with myself about posting this; there are some of you who’d prefer we focus solely on the Packers and not touch the ongoing soap opera west of the Mississippi from them — well, I guess today, the soap opera is in Mississippi, but I digress. This one is just too funny. I can’t leave it alone.

So, a disclaimer: What follows below will be me mocking, ripping and generally calling out the gross incompetence with which the Minnesota Vikings conduct their day-to-day business. Not interested? Cool. We’ll have some more Packers stuff later today. But if you are, read on…

By now, you’ve probably heard the news that the Vikings dispatched three members of Brett Favre’s inner circle (Ryan Longwell, Steve Hutchinson and Jared Allen) to Hattiesburg, Miss., effectively in hopes of begging the quarterback to play this year. That’s an unprecedented step in modern-day sports, and as ESPN’s Kevin Seifert points out, it amounts to the Vikings asking players to clean up a mess their front office created.

How was that mess created, though? You’ve got to go all the way back to 2006, when Brad Childress decided to trot out his tough guy act. He told Daunte Culpepper that the quarterback’s plan to rehab his torn ACL on his own terms – in a HealthSouth club in Florida, if I remember correctly – weren’t going to fly. That led to a long standoff that included Culpepper e-mailing members of the media, Childress publicly flagellating the quarterback and the Vikings eventually traded him to Miami, as Childress crowed about his “culture of accountability” and likened the Culpepper episode to him standing up to Terrell Owens in Philadelphia.

Problem was, Childress had no suitable plan to replace Culpepper, who’d had one of the greatest seasons in NFL history just two years before. He drafted Tarvaris Jackson, and threw his support behind the QB in what’s still one of my all-time favorite attempts by a coach to dress up a situation. Asked after OTAs in 2006 how his new starting QB looked, Childress’ first response was to praise Jackson, as offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell did, for his breathing techniques while calling plays in the huddle.

And when Jackson waffled on the field, Childress – Mr. Culture of Accountability – didn’t stand by his handpicked QB. The guy who’d supposedly made his reputation by grooming quarterbacks benched Jackson after bad games, turned to journeymen like Gus Frerotte and Kelly Holcomb when he struggled and sat Jackson at the first sign of an injury. He’s still never started more than 12 games in a season, and the Vikings are still asking themselves if he can play. Remember, Childress created the need for a QB by standing up to Culpepper, which was probably the right decision, and throwing his support behind Jackson – a move he clearly regretted. And the Vikings’ goofy front-office structure – their famous Triangle of Authority – left Childress with more power than a rookie head coach should have (Seriously? Culture of Accountability? Triangle of Authority? Is there someone from George H.W. Bush’s speechwriting staff working for this team?).

Anyway, we know what happened from there: Jackson failed, ticket sales dwindled and Childress’ job security weakened as the QB plan he’d crafted didn’t plan out. So when Brett Favre became available in 2009, with the Vikings still struggling to sell tickets despite coming off a division title and Childress facing a make-or-break year, he cashed in his chips.

He told Favre to take as much time as he wanted, even after Favre told the Vikings ‘no’ not once, but twice. He let Favre skip training camp, famously picking up in his SUV from the airport and driving him to Winter Park. Is it any surprise, then, that reports surfaced late last year of Childress and Favre clashing over how to run the offense, with Childress’ button-downed ways cramping Favre’s gunslinger style?

And we’ve been over this next part many times, but after this episode, how does Childress run his team with a straight face? He got on Adrian Peterson’s case for skipping OTAs, but he lets Favre – a player on the Vikings’ roster – skip camp, and then excuses players from practice to beg him to come back. And this is all for a soon-to-be 41-year-old quarterback who hasn’t put together two straight productive seasons since 2003-04.

Compare that – or contrast it – rather, to how the Packers handled Favre. Seeing the end of his run was near, they drafted Aaron Rodgers with plenty of time to groom him while Favre was still playing. They got one more season of efficient play out of Favre in 2007, riding his renaissance to the NFC Championship Game, where Bad Brett made his customary January appearances.

And when Favre retired in March, only to waffle a month later, general manager Ted Thompson and coach Mike McCarthy told Favre they’d be willing to welcome him back, on one condition: He had to be in 100 percent, and they had to know. That was too much for the quarterback to promise, so they cut ties with Favre, damn the PR beating it would bring them, and moved forward with Rodgers.

Aside from the marketing deal they offered Favre – which got construed by his camp as a bribe to stay retired – I can’t see too many missteps in the way the Packers played this. They made a smart football decision by drafting Rodgers. They made a smarter one by sticking to their guns with Favre, even though his Avenger World Tour saw him make a victorious return to Lambeau last year. And they’ve been rewarded heading into the 2010 season with a 26-year-old QB who’s blossoming into one of the game’s elite passers and is leading a championship-caliber offense.

What if Thompson and McCarthy had played it the way Childress did? They might have been roped into two years, maybe more, of Favre’s waffling, all while Rodgers’ original contract expired and the QB fumed after the Packers gave Favre his job back. And they would have perpetuated a situation that Packers executives have said was becoming untenable – Favre thinking he’d earned the right to do whatever he wanted.

We’ve bashed Ted Thompson a fair amount around here, and he still takes – and will continue to take – grief for his dour personality. But give Thompson credit: Faced with the toughest decision he’ll likely ever have to make as a GM, he did right by his team and stuck to his call.

I’ve said it before, but that kind of stuff makes me proud to be a Packers fan. It means something to cheer for a team that conducts itself with some integrity – and we could go on all day about the Vikings’ other missteps there – and from a football standpoint, it’s sure nice to know that the men in charge have a better plan than kowtowing to an aging QB.

And when it’s a Tuesday afternoon in August and your team is supposed to be practicing, it’s awfully nice to know where your most important player is going to be.

–Gene Bosling

Know your enemy, version 2.2

admin — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 11:00:06 +0000

We’ve covered the two teams that finished beneath the Green Bay Packers in the NFC North last season.

To close it out, let’s now talk about the offseason of the team the Packers are chasing for the division title: the Minnesota Vikings, back-to-back winners of the North.

(Vomiting uncontrollably)

Enjoy – or something like that.

Minnesota Vikings

Where they were heading into the offseason: Boosted by a better-than-expected showing from you-know-who, the Vikings won the NFC North with a 12-4 record. Minnesota then crushed the Dallas Cowboys at home in the divisional round before gagging away the NFC Championship Game to the New Orleans Saints in overtime (Favre? Gagging? NFC Title Game? No way, right?!). Minnesota was solid in most areas, but needed to improve a bit in others, namely the secondary.

What happened in free agency: The biggest thing to happen to the Vikings in free agency was not a signing, but rather a departure as backup running back Chester Taylor inked a deal with the Chicago Bears. Handcuffed to an extent by the “Final Eight” rule, Minnesota couldn’t really do that much, even with Taylor leaving. As such, the Vikings came away with little: kicker Rhys Lloyd, cornerback Lito Sheppard and defensive end Mike Montgomery (remember him? It’s okay if you don’t).

What happened in the draft: While some speculated that the Vikes would tab Jimmy Clausen as their quarterback of the future, Minnesota instead traded back with Detroit to the top of round two (also jumping up 28 spots in the fourth round in the process). With their top pick, the Vikings selected corner Chris Cook. Minnesota had a second pick in round two, as well, and went with running back Toby Gerhart. Other interesting picks included defensive end Everson Griffin (selected with the pick earned in the Detroit trade), linebacker Nate Triplett (like Lloyd, a former Gopher) and quarterback Joe Webb.

Where the Vikings are now: Obviously, the entire 2010 season hinges on whether or not Brett Favre will “decide” to return. Of course, since we’re not as stupid as he clearly thinks we are, we know he will. That being the case, Minnesota should still be a very good team yet again.

But I think the Vikings dropped the ball a bit in terms of strengthening their roster. Namely, they didn’t find an adequate replacement for Taylor, arguably the most valuable backup running back in the league. Taylor was a crafty runner and top-notch pass catcher, neither of which are things Adrian Peterson is. The drafting of Gerhart was questionable, to say the least, in this respect. He’s a brute force type of back and that will help in short yardage spots. But he did nothing as a pass catcher in college and it will take time for him to learn that role in the pros. Remember, Favre loves throwing to his running backs.

Minnesota would have been well-served to bolster its offensive line just a bit, too, but it did no such thing. As such, the depth is not there and the Vikings will be hard-pressed to skate by if a starter is hurt.

As for the defense, you have to wonder what the Vikes were thinking in not tightening up their secondary. Antoine Winfield is great, but struggled with injuries last year and isn’t getting any younger. Cedric Griffin will miss the first stretch of the season rehabbing his knee injury from the Saints game. Cook has amazing size (6-feet, 2-inches) and some definite upside, but the main reason he dropped to round two was his injury history. And don’t expect anything great from Sheppard, a player who’s best days are well behind him.

I thought they should have done more on the d-line, as well. Pat Williams is an elite player, sure, but he turns 38 in October. If he gets hurt, teams can lock in on Jared Allen and Kevin Williams. As a result, the pass rush won’t be there.

Again, when Favre comes back, this team should be okay. There’s simply no way Favre does what he did last year – remember, he hasn’t had two consecutive good seasons since 2003 and 2004 – because, in the end, I don’t think the motivation will be there for him like it was last season. But even if he’s a shell of that – say, 26 touchdowns and 15 picks – this team has enough firepower in other areas to pull out a 10-win season.

Had it had a better offseason, Minnesota could have solidly put itself back in 12-win contention. The Vikings did not, however, and are no longer the team to beat in the NFC North.

Offseason Grade (when Favre comes back): C-

Offseason Grade (if Favre doesn’t come back): The grade doesn’t matter, because if he actually quits, that means the apocalypse is upon us.

-Chris Lempesis

And so the dance begins…yet again…ugh

admin — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 07:24:45 +0000

I reaaaaaaalllly did not want to write anything about Brett Favre’s latest fiasco. Really, I didn’t. That’s true of all of us at OBOD. Seriously. We’d rather focus on how the team is looking in camp thus far (and we’ll get cracking on that Wednesday).

But when you consider you-know-who is the starting quarterback for the team the Green Bay Packers are looking to dethrone in the NFC North, well, a thought or two is sort of necessary, isn’t it?

Crap.

Okay, before we go any further, let me just say that I think the entire thing is a scam. He’s coming back. You could put a gun in my mouth and make me bet my life on it and I’d say the same. I guess I’m just confused as to why he’s doing all this, because it seems so unnecessary.

I don’t think the latest retirement claims are a ploy for more money. We all know how much Fav-ruh loves his dough – and according to the Star Tribune, he’ll likely get it as the Vikes are prepared to offer him a $3 million raise plus various incentives. Causing this type of uproar for such a small amount of dough (by Favre’s standards) doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, especially when you consider the man’s net-worth, likely upwards of $200 million. You could argue that nothing he does makes any sense, and you’d of course be right. But even by his standards, this sounds nuts.

Is he’s doing it to get a couple more weeks off? Yeah, perhaps. But he didn’t come in until after the first preseason game last season. If he’s looking for even more time off this year, he wouldn’t be making himself available until late August. It’s true that he knows the playbook inside-and-out and that he’s already got a connection with the other guys on the offense. But even the sharpest offenses need a week or two to begin clicking again (see: the Packers’ offense struggling a bit early in camp).

Some sites have even suggested that his true desire is to roll in a handful of days before Minny’s season opener at New Orleans. Considering the beating he took in that game, does he really want to be working out the kinks against a defense that will surely be going for his head yet again? Is he really that arrogant – wait, don’t answer that.

It’s not the ankle. I’m sure of that. That’s a bunch of crap. The ankle is still giving him pain? You mean the same way his shoulder was still bothering him at this time one year ago? That can’t be it, so go ahead and cross that excuse off the list.

So, again, I ask you: Why?

There’s really only one reason I can think of as to why he’s making such claims yet again (either the 30th or 31st time he’s done so, for those of you scoring at home): His pathetic, unfailing desire to have people look kindly upon him, despite what a scumbag he’s been (it could be even worse if you believe things like this).

Sure, the Vikings are more-than-willing to give him a pass. But pretty much everyone else on the planet is not. And it’s not just the media and it’s not just the fans. It’s people like Sports Illustrated’s Ross Tucker - a former player – ripping Favre to shreds for skipping camp and putting himself above the team. Remember, Favre’s always been extremely sensitive and extremely aware of what others think about him. It’s the reason why he appeared to get choked up in his futile, sniveling attempt at extending an olive branch to Packers fans after the game at Lambeau last November.

He cares, whether he wants to admit it or not. He figured he’d be able to get away with not showing up for camp under the guise of an “I’m not sure what I want to do yet” excuse. Clearly, most people weren’t having that. In an attempt to get everyone off his back, he pulled out the only card he has left: The retirement card.

Only pulling out that card – and this is the really sad part of the whole bit – doesn’t work for him anymore. No one – and I mean, NO ONE – takes him seriously when he says such things.

Think about that for a second.

A man who once appeared to stand for so many of the things that make professional sports great has now become a laughingstock. His word means nothing. To use a Kevin Smith line, the guy is clown shoes. That he was able to go from where he was to where he is in just over two years is nothing short of astounding. He may or may not care about that – my guess is that he does – but he can’t change his legacy as a joke. Touchdowns, wins and, okay, even game-ending interceptions don’t outweigh his total lack of character.

He can make good on these current threats or he can come back and strap up the cleats yet again. Either way, it doesn’t really matter to me. Walking away makes the Packers the hands-down favorite to win the division, likely by at least three games. Coming back means we get two more shots at revenge, two more shots to make things right. I’ll take either, please.

But, again, those haven’t been the main thoughts on my mind today. Today I’ve just been shaking my head and thinking the same thing over and over:

How could we have been duped by this guy for 16 years?

-Chris Lempesis

Life as a Packers fan in the Twin Cities – and why I hate Vikings fans

admin — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 06:01:30 +0000

As I write this, the calendar sits on July 11. That really didn’t leave me a whole lot of options for this space.

Sure, I could write about some things that actually involve the current incarnation of the Green Bay Packers. But now doesn’t seem like the best time to write such posts – better to save those for the days leading up to the start of training camp (20 days away!). After all, we’re all sort of thinking about football, but not quite yet, you know?

We had some great suggestions from you guys, the faithful OBOD readers, on some possible series ideas. But, honestly, we haven’t been able to flesh them out fully yet. Maybe soon.

That being the case, I’ve decided to give you guys and gals a glimpse into my daily life. See, I’m a Packers fan living in the dark heart of Minnesota Vikings country – Minneapolis, to be exact.

I’ve lived here, off and on, for almost five years. I graduated from college here (University of Minnesota). Some of the best experiences of my life have happened here. All in all, I love it.

But, being the extremely proud Packers fan that I am, there’s a flipside to that: I have to deal with a lot of crap from Vikings fans. If you don’t deal with these people on a daily basis, you have no idea how ridiculous they truly are.

I do, though, and I’ve decided to share some of my thoughts/experiences with you now. Think of this as a companion piece to Gene’s “How to deal with Steelers fans” post from last summer.

Consider the following:

They think their history is right on par with ours. Seriously.

Ask almost any Vikings fan to compare the respective histories of the two franchises and they’ll tell you they are pretty much equal.

An actual recent exchange between myself and a female Vikings fan (who claimed that “Brett Favre rocks”):

Woman: “The Packers suck.”

Me: “Yeah, all those world championships are really the earmarks of an awful organization. Wait, how many have we won? 12?”

Woman: “And how many of those were won before we had automobiles or television?”

Me: “Okay, even if I give you that and take away all those early titles, my squad’s still got three. Yours has none.”

A co-worker of mine (a Vikings fan) to the woman: “Just stop. He’s got us there.”

He understands. Believe me, he’s in the minority out here. It’s like these people live in an alternate reality, one where going 0-for-4 in Super Bowls is just as good as going 3-for-4. It’s baffling.

They believe their level of passion and support for their team is equal with ours. Dead serious.

The Packers? A team with a 30-plus year wait for season tickets, a team that has sold out each of its past 285 home games. Good times and bad, Lambeau Field is packed to the brim. We care.

The Vikings? A franchise that has had trouble selling out games, including a home playoff game, as recently as 2008 (often relying on their sponsors/television station of choice to buy up the remaining seats). They care…if their team is good. Wait – scratch that. That’s not even true.

Should I write more? Naaaaah, that kind of says it all.

Almost universally, they all claim that they never hated Brett Favre. No, I’m not kidding.

Ever since last August, I’ve heard some variation of the following quote roughly seven million times: “I never liked Brett Favre. But I always respected him.”

That respect was shown in a myriad of ways to us Twin Cities Packers fans during Favre’s time in Titletown. And by “respect” I mean calling him a booze-swilling, pill-popping, overrated, interception-prone loser (he was no Brad Johnson, I guess). By “respect” I mean getting flipped off by passing motorists for wearing his jersey. By “respect” I mean having some lard ass in a Randy Moss jersey yell “(expletive deleted) you!” at you in a bar for wearing his jersey.

In other words, a really healthy respect, to be sure.

What’s been really funny is to see all these people jump into Favre’s backpocket so quickly. After spending years accusing us of covering for him at every turn (guilty), it took less than six months for them to do the exact same thing. All of them – every single one – still blame Adrian Peterson for the loss to the Saints. Nevermind the fact that Favre threw yet another backbreaking pick. Nope – it was Peterson’s fault. Hilarious.

They can’t understand why you don’t switch allegiances, even though you’re not from there. Not making that up.

Another one I hear a lot: “But you live in Minnesota. You should be a Vikings fan.”

You try explaining it to them: “Well, I’m not originally from here. I’ve been a Packers fan my whole life. I would never switch. Ever.”

They don’t get it. They really think you should switch.

I’ve gone so far as to turn the tables: “Say you moved to San Diego. You’re telling me you’d become a Chargers fan? Or if you moved to New York, you’d all of a sudden root for the Giants or Jets?”

One guy actually told me that he would, in fact, switch. My response: “No you wouldn’t. Shut the hell up.”

Yeah, it gets that tense sometimes. They really leave you no other choice.

In honor of Vikings fans’ newfound love of Judas – again, they never liked him, but always respected him – I’ve decided to stop at four points and move to my conclusion.

You might be asking yourself: How do you do it, Chris? How do you put up with such seemingly awful people?

Well, actually, it’s rather easy for people like myself (and Adam, who also lives out here). See, we know the truth.

We know that, in no way, shape or form, do the Vikings (or their fans) stack up with the Packers and their fans.

We have history. They don’t. We care. They only care during the good times.

And we know why they hate us so much: Jealousy. Pure, uncut jealousy.

Minneapolis very much looks at itself as the New York City of the upper midwest. It’s a great place, for the most part, but there’s an obvious undercurrent of arrogance here, too. And it drives them nuts – absolutely nuts – that they just can not hang with the football team from the tiny paper-mill town of 100,000 people five hours east of here.

Knowing that makes it really easy to brush Vikings fans off when they yell curse words at you or kick a chunk off your Packers tailgate cover (which actually happened to Adam awhile back).

And this last fact makes it really easy: In two years from now – at most – Judas will be done. Peterson will be nearing empty. The defense will be much older and completely past its prime. A Tarvaris Jackson-Toby Gerhart backfield will be led by head coach Brad Childress.

Meanwhile, we’ll have a 28-year old star quarterback, an extremely talented group of skill position players under 30, a franchise left tackle and a defense full of players hovering around their primes. All of this will be led by head coach Mike McCarthy.

Yeah, that’ll be a fun rivalry – even if the Vikings are in Los Angeles.

-Chris Lempesis

A message to Cavs fans from a guy who’s been here before

admin — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 05:46:30 +0000

(Before we begin: I’ve been sick all week and haven’t been able to update the site as much as I would’ve liked. Sorry.)

Cleveland Cavaliers fans, I feel your pain.

No matter the color of the jersey or the sport, it always really hurts to find out someone doesn’t care about you as much as you thought they did.

You guys learned that lesson the hard way tonight. For that, I am sorry.

Outsiders will tell you that you shouldn’t be so upset. “It’s a business” will be the line of crap that they feed you. They’ll tell you LeBron James has to do what’s best for him. Miami gives him a better shot to win, the Cavs couldn’t surround him with a similar set of talent and, in the end, LeBron had to take that opportunity.

Is that true? Yeah, maybe.

Doesn’t matter – that’s not the point.

The point is that you loved him through it all. Success or not, he was your guy. He made you proud. You supported him. You treated him like he was one of your own – which, well, he was. Or, at least, was supposed to be.

You felt like you had a special relationship, one that fans everywhere admired. He had to feel that way too, didn’t he? I mean, he said he did, so you took him at his word.

In the end, though, he didn’t really feel anything at all. The giant middle finger he showed you guys on ESPN proved that. It was a nasty sight to see, even for a guy who admittedly cares very little about the NBA.

I know that middle finger - I’ve seen it before.

I had to endure my own “Summer of Torture” around this same time two years ago (and again last summer). You can’t believe your guy is doing this to you. Has he lost his mind? What is he thinking?

You calm yourself by thinking he’ll come to his senses and remember how special the relationship is, especially with the way sports are nowadays. He wouldn’t just throw that all away, would he? Even if he goes somewhere else, they’ll never love him like you did. He knows that, right?

And surely he knows that, once that bridge is torched, it can never be rebuilt, right?

It’s at that exact moment that he drops the match on the gasoline that he himself has spent weeks pouring.

Gone baby, gone.

You’re angry. Scratch that – you’re furious.

You’re going to yell and curse. You’re going to hate yourself for getting suckered in by such an utterly despicable person. You’re going to have too much to drink and, maybe, you’ll get sad enough to cry. You’re going to want to throw away the posters, bury the ticket stubs and, perhaps, break out that jersey and do a little torching of your own.

If you think I’m going to tell you any of these actions are “wrong” or “classless,” you are incorrect. You’re talking to a guy who kept his autographed Brett Favre photo on the wall of his apartment for the sole purpose of drawing a vulgar thought bubble out of his mouth (think of the movie “Clerks” and you’ll know what I wrote). I am not above such actions.

Do it. Do all of it. You’ll be amazed how much better it makes you feel.

So far, I’ve tried to steer clear of giving you any advice. After all, everyone hates the guy who tries to throw those tired, pathetic cliches at you after you’ve just had your heart ripped out.

That said, I want to end this thing on a positive and, hopefully, this makes you feel just a bit better.

You’re down on your team now. I get that. But don’t be down forever.

In fact, when the season rolls around, go to Quicken Loans Arena as soon as you can. Sell the place out. Be louder than you’ve ever been before, even if your team stinks (and by all accounts, it’s going to). Let LeDouche know it was never about him – it was about the team. That is what really matters. It’s their building, their town, your town - he was just renting some space.

And when the traitor returns home, do NOT listen to those who tell you it’s wrong to boo him. Don’t be above that. Boo the living daylights out of him. Let him know how disgusting he really is.

His new team might beat yours – and that’ll stink if it happens – but he will get the message. Even moronic, self-obsessed professional athletes know what 20,000 boos means.

It means that the oldest cliche of them all really is true: You can never go home again.

-Chris Lempesis

Favre needs surgery to play in 2010, he says

admin — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 15:10:04 +0000

Brett Favre apparently needs ankle surgery to play in 2010, according to this report from ESPN’s Ed Werder.

My take: Well, it’s official. He’s playing next year, and just needed the proper excuse to skip training camp. He’d be able to rehab in plenty of time, but if you hem and haw a little longer, have the surgery in, say, June, he’s got the excuse to skip training camp. Now, surgery is never an easy proposition, but does anybody really believe that Favre won’t play? He’s addicted, he’s going to do whatever it takes and with this, he’s got a perfect reason to skip camp — especially since he wouldn’t talk about the prognosis or how long it might take to recover.

He also has a couple choice phrases in the e-mail he sent to Werder comparing his one year in Minnesota to his entire career in Green Bay.

This guy is a piece of work, isn’t he?

–Gene Bosling

Judas gearing up to join Twitterverse? An OBOD exclusive

admin — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 16:30:45 +0000

The Twitterverse was buzzing Wednesday with the news that Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers had, finally, created an account. Not surprisingly, Rodgers quickly built a massive following (us included).

(Quick aside: If more of you want to follow OBOD on Twitter, that’d be cool by us. Come on, guys. Please?)

While surfing around various Twitter sites Thursday evening, we at OBOD uncovered a gem of a scoop: Brett Favre also appears to building a Twitter page.

We were only able to uncover a rough version of the page (we’d provide the link, but we’re afraid we’ll get in trouble), but amazingly, Favre already has a solid amount of Tweets up. We highlighted and copied most of what was there – his profile picture, a three-shot of a pair of Wranglers, a Hyundai and the Sears logo unfortunately wouldn’t paste on our site – and are more than happy to share it with you now.

Again, this is an OBOD exclusive (get to the back of the line, Schefter!):

14MillionFor4

Just lined up three more ad deals – Maxi-Pads, Lifetime Television and the Lillith Fair. Reeeal excited about the last 1. Clarkson’s my girl!

about two hours ago via Vikings-issued Blackberry

@EdWerder, TrentDilfer and PeterKing Guys, Im really not sure what I’m goin’ do yet. I wish y’all wud believe me. For reals.

about three hours ago via Vikings-issued Blackberry in reply to EdWerder, Trent Dilfer and PeterKing

Mowin’ the grass. Grass is long. Man, neone ever wonder y grass just keeps on growin’? I do that a lot.

about four hours ago via Vikings-issued Blackberry

I want y’all to know we really is just simple country folk. Oops, gtg, Deanna just got back from Gucci shoppin spree.

about six hours ago via Vikings-issued Blackberry

@JaredAllenHillbilly69 Just finished watchin POTG clip again. LOL

about eight hours ago via Vikings-issued Blackberry

Watchin’ replay of NO game. I still think I made the right call throwin to Sydney. Open receivers are for pussies.

about eight hours ago via Vikings-issued Blackberry

Just stubbed my toe on the cofee table somethin’ fierce. That’s it. I’m comin’ back.

about nine hours ago via Vikings-issued Blackberry

Got my Wranglers on, hangin by the money-filled pool. Eff football. I’m done.

about nine hours ago via Vikings-issued Blackberry

Who the heck is Barak Obama? Is he related to KGB? This is confusing. I’m comin’ back.

about nine hours ago via Vikings-issued Blackberry

@4GotMeMyExtension Chilly, I ain’t playing in no second preseason game. Its two days b4 the 3rd preseason game or nuthin. Don’t argue w/me!

about 10 hours ago in reply to 4GotMeMyExtension

So there you have it, dear readers. It looks like No. 4 just can’t let Rodgers have anything.

Oh, and sorry for the bad language. Don’t blame us – we just printed what he said.

Have a good weekend, everyone.

-Chris Lempesis

Posted for your enjoyment

admin — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 03:34:03 +0000

This.

Thanks to my dad for the brilliant catch. Now, the Star Tribune has been through a host of layoffs lately, so this could be a casualty of a thinner copy desk. But I don’t know — there might be a larger, more nefarious and more delicious plot at work here.

For one, it harkens back to this.

Enjoy — and spread the humor.

–Gene Bosling

Childress to Favre: Take your time; Bosling to Childress: Give it up

admin — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 23:05:54 +0000

To recap:

–Brad Childress said he talked to Brett Favre twice this week, but couldn’t pin him down on how he feels about returning, because Favre had other things — like landscaping — on his mind.

–Childress said Favre has “earned that latitude” to essentially take as long as he wants to make a decision, possibly even to skip minicamp and part of training camp again.

–He’s prepared to go into the season with Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels if Favre doesn’t come back.

Anyone who has been watching Childress since he picked Favre up from the airport last August should be surprised by none of this.

It was clear back then that Childress was ready to give up control of his team to Favre — setting false deadlines, giving Favre special treatment and putting his other quarterbacks on standby — to get a shot at having the 40-year-old on his team. Everything he did over the course of the 2009 season corroborated that, from the reports about Childress’ inability to pull Favre from several games, even though he wanted to, to Favre’s willingness to take a vengance shot down the field against the Packers by changing a play at the line of scrimmage to a deep pass, even though Childress called for a run.

If you’re Brett Favre, why would you even listen to Brad Childress this time of year? Why not wait until the first week of the season to come back? And if all it takes to get Childress to back off is a laughable line about landscaping, why would you put any stock in any of his rules during your inevitable return to the Vikings?

Childress came to Minnesota preaching about a “culture of accountability,” but has rendered that concept laughable with his repeated acquisitions of questionable characters. His kowtow to Favre is only the latest example. Maybe it benefited him financially — he got a contract extension by riding Favre to a 12-4 season before the predictable Favre playoff implosion, and he wouldn’t have gotten that deal without Favre. But it doesn’t bode well for a team that’s getting older and will have to fight off a Packers team that should only get better.

Look, we all know Favre is probably going to play in 2010. He’s going to reach 500 touchdown passes and 70,000 yards if he returns, and he seems to be obsessed with what’s becoming a Quixotic quest for an Elway-like ending. And while nobody is suggesting he needs to go through two-a-days to learn the game or room with Sidney Rice to develop chemistry, Childress is giving up even more by conceding those points up front.

Here’s where that will harm the Vikings coach the most: We Packers fans know all too well what erratic play an unbridled Favre is capable of. We saw it in 2004 and 2005, when Favre was essentially given free reign by coach Mike Sherman and quarterbacks coach Darrell Bevell (now the Vikings’ offensive coordinator). We saw in 2007 — and unfortunately, in 2009 with the Vikings — what brilliance Favre can still conjure up when he’s at least paying some respect to a framework. But we also know that in the last stages of his career, he’s never been capable of keeping it together two years in a row. And nothing about Childress’ current approach is suggesting he’ll create the confines Favre now needs to thrive.

What does this mean for us as Packers fans? Right now, not much. The odds Favre comes back are still high, in my opinion, and the Packers have plenty of their own questions to answer before that decision comes (probably this summer). But it does increase the possibility of two games where Favre is airmailing throws off his back foot, doggedly forcing balls to his favorite targets and refusing to take the smart play when the gutsy one is available. That, coupled with an improving Aaron Rodgers and the (inexplicable) job security of Childress, means revenge could come rather quickly.

But in an objective sense, Childress isn’t doing himself any favors. The book on Favre is well-worn at this point, and Childress is flouting it, making every mistake the Packers made with Favre during the Mike Sherman era. At some point, he might be better off moving on.

Because if he can’t compete with landscaping in February, how’s he going to steer Favre away from lugheaded decisions in December?

–Gene Bosling